The terms "Boyfriend" or "Someone special", came up often lately.
Like there will always be people that come up and ask you,
"why you don't have a boyfriend ar?"
"er...because I'm not looking for one."
"Oohh...so would you like me to introduce someone to you?"
or
"Oh..then we should get you a boyfriend then!!"
"$%^&*...!!!"
Ofcourse you can't say something bad to them even though you have a VERY VERY strong urge to tell them to go fly kite,but after all, given that they're just being concern about your "singlehood", which is really unneccessary if you ask me, you just have to suppress the very strong urge and try to say no with as much politeness as possible to their kindness even if that means that you have to tighten your fist until you knuckles turn white.
If you ask me do I believe in love, of course I do! but more than anything, I believe in fate and chemistry, that everything will make sense when you meet the right one. Unfortunately, its not as easy.
I'm perfectly fine as I am right now, although from time to time, you'll have that unavoidable feeling where you wish there is that somebody there with you, for you.
Hmmm..maybe I should go to New York then.
LOL
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Randomness
Sometimes I suspect that I have split personalities. My actions often contradicted with my beliefs. Hmmm...i think its best if I put it this way,
The 10 year Agreement
I'm a person who live in the present and sometimes in the past,but I'm scared of the future, or should I say...I'm scared of uncertainties,I don't like things that are not out of my control, I don't like it when I can't see the future. Lately randomness has become my middle name in daily life situation, I would say life is too precious to be wasted away just like that, and we're too young to live in a box. I would suggest random things to do, I would want to go places, backpacking, I even want to be a photographer at this point of my life etc... but when it comes to my future, like what am I going to do after I graduate, the photographer thingy suddenly seem so far away, even nearly impossible to be done because its bears too much risk and my family certainly would not agree to it...
You see what I mean here? I want security for my future, a stable job with stable income so that I can pay off my loan and make things better for my family, but at the same time, the other me wants to do what I would love to do.
Soon I would have to choose between what I want to do and what I'm suppose to do. On one hand is the life I would love to have, on the other hand is the responsibility I have for my family and the conventional idea that was embedded in me about what a good life is, strive to become wealthy or well off, have a car, your own house...you know, all those kind of things that most people live for...
So you see, I'm facing contradictions that I have no solutions to and that really freaks me out,
cause if I don't fugure all these out soon, I'm going to be in real deep shit.
After all those written above, it has become clear now, the responsibility is on me, and its time for me to do the right thing even it has to mean to screw my dreams...
You have to do what you have to, right?
Enough of all those whinings and self-pitying bullshit,
here something interesting to share...
Today, Joyce, Vincent and I went to have cakes at Secret Recipe to satisfy my sudden whim for cakes (ngek ngek ngek...^^Y) and at one point when Vincent went across to McD get some wifi, I was left with the traveling magazine Joyce took from the Secret Recipe magazine stand, as I was reading through the magazine, drooling over all those oh-so-nice to visit places and at the same time throwing random travelling suggestions to Joyce, like the usual "Let's go Europe!" kind of random suggestions, but as we all know, travelling around Europe is out of the question for the time being for us so Joyce said let's go 10 years later. I bet she regretted saying that very much right now cause I tend to took it very seriously, so I said let's put it in black and white, and so the agreement of us going to a round Europe trip 10 years later was written down, in a Secret Recipe napkin with a borrowed pen! and FYI, the agreement is very much valid cause both of our names, IC no. and signatures are on that napkin and that makes it a legally binded contract under Malaysia contract law. wahahahahhahaa!!!!
The 10 year AgreementAhhh...the beauty of randomness~
Friday, March 13, 2009
Freedom Writers
I watched a great movie today.
Its called "Freedom Writers", starring Hilary Swank. This movie is based on a true story.
The movie is about a teacher struggling in her racial integrated, literature and writing class where color is everything. A class that was stamped as "unteachable".Her students hated her, hated each other. She fought the system to try to help her students, she took up 2 other part time jobs to buy them books and organize trip for her students because her head of department wouldnt support her, she taught them about the Holocaust, brought them to the Museum of Tolerance, invited Holocaust survivors to meet her students in person....She helped them realized that life is yet to be a dead end for these students and they have the power to change their lifes.
The movie touches me. It reminds me of the teachers who changed my life, the teachers who cared, the teachers who saw me and made me faced myself and shaped into who I am today.
It reminds me of the time I spent researching about the Holocaust for my CENS paper, the sickly feeling that I got when I read all those cruel things the Nazis did, the heaviness on my chest when I wrote the paper. It reminds me how lucky I am not have to go through hell to be alive.
Do watch it. I highly recommend it.
Its called "Freedom Writers", starring Hilary Swank. This movie is based on a true story.
The movie is about a teacher struggling in her racial integrated, literature and writing class where color is everything. A class that was stamped as "unteachable".Her students hated her, hated each other. She fought the system to try to help her students, she took up 2 other part time jobs to buy them books and organize trip for her students because her head of department wouldnt support her, she taught them about the Holocaust, brought them to the Museum of Tolerance, invited Holocaust survivors to meet her students in person....She helped them realized that life is yet to be a dead end for these students and they have the power to change their lifes.
The movie touches me. It reminds me of the teachers who changed my life, the teachers who cared, the teachers who saw me and made me faced myself and shaped into who I am today.
It reminds me of the time I spent researching about the Holocaust for my CENS paper, the sickly feeling that I got when I read all those cruel things the Nazis did, the heaviness on my chest when I wrote the paper. It reminds me how lucky I am not have to go through hell to be alive.
Do watch it. I highly recommend it.
Monday, March 9, 2009
A personality Test
This is a rather interesting personality test I'd done. It is quite accurate I might say...
hehehee...enjoy~
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
p/s: Thanks to Jun who posted it on facebook and tagged me. luv ya always!
If you also like to try it, here's the link : http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
hehehee...enjoy~
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
p/s: Thanks to Jun who posted it on facebook and tagged me. luv ya always!
If you also like to try it, here's the link : http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Monday, March 2, 2009
Early morning post
Things change, sometimes in a way you least expected,
sometimes you've seen it coming,
but no matter how well you think you've prepared for it,
sometimes when the reality hits, it still sting so much that it hurts.
I suppose no matter how much you despise the current situation,
you just have to find a way to deal with it and live on with you life the best way you know.
Life is sad sometimes, isnt it?
I've learned to find peace with myself again,
which was what I'd lost when I came back.
sometimes you've seen it coming,
but no matter how well you think you've prepared for it,
sometimes when the reality hits, it still sting so much that it hurts.
I suppose no matter how much you despise the current situation,
you just have to find a way to deal with it and live on with you life the best way you know.
Life is sad sometimes, isnt it?
I've learned to find peace with myself again,
which was what I'd lost when I came back.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The past 2 months or so.
Sorry for the blog draught, I was merely distracted.
Many have happened, many have changed since the last time I wrote, I was pretty amazed by my last entry when I reread it that day. I suppose when you're feeling it, nothing can stop you.
Throughout this semester, I feel something is missing in my life, like something just isnt quite right. What have brought to this I have no idea. I'm just as clueless as you.
Extending another semester in USM now seems like a good decision, in a way I might be able to avoid the economy downturn, and its also an excuse for me not to face the cruel reality so soon.
Its a really scary feeling when you know once your time as a student is up, everything changes. Every single freaking thing changes. Its also a sign that you need to grow up, whether you like it or not. To be frank, I'm pretty happy I have the perfect excuse to avoid doing just that. I'm not going to give you that "I want to better equip myself" kind of shit. I'm just plainly don't know where to fit in in the society and that freaks me out, a lot. I bet all soon-to-be graduates are feeling the same way as I do, Lost. Where to go, what to do next...all those never ending questions pending to be answered. Unfortunately, those questions are without interesting answers.
Anyways, these 2 months have been interesting in way. I spent a weekend and Valentine's day visiting Prince of Songkhla University in Hatyai so now I know how to say I Love You and count from 1 to 10 in Thai with perfection. Then it was my birthday and am I glad that I was not sick again on that day! It would be really sad if tragic of last year reoccur. Didn't celebrate much though but its ok since I don't really celebrate birthdays anyway. Then there is visiting students from Nihon Fukushi University for 2 weeks, visited Sony EMC with them the other day and got a huge seamless mouse as a souvenir! how cute....then there was yesterday, the ever so full of dramas cultural fiesta 09, despite all the pre-show dramas, the event turned out to be a hit. The hall of 500 capacity was so full that lots of people had to sit or stand on the stairs and walkways.
In between all those happenings were filled by assignments and midterms and classes and dramas. How boring would it be if there aint any drama to spice up your life, right?
hehe.
Many have happened, many have changed since the last time I wrote, I was pretty amazed by my last entry when I reread it that day. I suppose when you're feeling it, nothing can stop you.
Throughout this semester, I feel something is missing in my life, like something just isnt quite right. What have brought to this I have no idea. I'm just as clueless as you.
Extending another semester in USM now seems like a good decision, in a way I might be able to avoid the economy downturn, and its also an excuse for me not to face the cruel reality so soon.
Its a really scary feeling when you know once your time as a student is up, everything changes. Every single freaking thing changes. Its also a sign that you need to grow up, whether you like it or not. To be frank, I'm pretty happy I have the perfect excuse to avoid doing just that. I'm not going to give you that "I want to better equip myself" kind of shit. I'm just plainly don't know where to fit in in the society and that freaks me out, a lot. I bet all soon-to-be graduates are feeling the same way as I do, Lost. Where to go, what to do next...all those never ending questions pending to be answered. Unfortunately, those questions are without interesting answers.
Anyways, these 2 months have been interesting in way. I spent a weekend and Valentine's day visiting Prince of Songkhla University in Hatyai so now I know how to say I Love You and count from 1 to 10 in Thai with perfection. Then it was my birthday and am I glad that I was not sick again on that day! It would be really sad if tragic of last year reoccur. Didn't celebrate much though but its ok since I don't really celebrate birthdays anyway. Then there is visiting students from Nihon Fukushi University for 2 weeks, visited Sony EMC with them the other day and got a huge seamless mouse as a souvenir! how cute....then there was yesterday, the ever so full of dramas cultural fiesta 09, despite all the pre-show dramas, the event turned out to be a hit. The hall of 500 capacity was so full that lots of people had to sit or stand on the stairs and walkways.
In between all those happenings were filled by assignments and midterms and classes and dramas. How boring would it be if there aint any drama to spice up your life, right?
hehe.
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