Randomness

Sometimes I suspect that I have split personalities. My actions often contradicted with my beliefs. Hmmm...i think its best if I put it this way,

I'm a person who live in the present and sometimes in the past,but I'm scared of the future, or should I say...I'm scared of uncertainties,I don't like things that are not out of my control, I don't like it when I can't see the future. Lately randomness has become my middle name in daily life situation, I would say life is too precious to be wasted away just like that, and we're too young to live in a box. I would suggest random things to do, I would want to go places, backpacking, I even want to be a photographer at this point of my life etc... but when it comes to my future, like what am I going to do after I graduate, the photographer thingy suddenly seem so far away, even nearly impossible to be done because its bears too much risk and my family certainly would not agree to it...

You see what I mean here? I want security for my future, a stable job with stable income so that I can pay off my loan and make things better for my family, but at the same time, the other me wants to do what I would love to do.

Soon I would have to choose between what I want to do and what I'm suppose to do. On one hand is the life I would love to have, on the other hand is the responsibility I have for my family and the conventional idea that was embedded in me about what a good life is, strive to become wealthy or well off, have a car, your own house...you know, all those kind of things that most people live for...

So you see, I'm facing contradictions that I have no solutions to and that really freaks me out,

cause if I don't fugure all these out soon, I'm going to be in real deep shit.

After all those written above, it has become clear now, the responsibility is on me, and its time for me to do the right thing even it has to mean to screw my dreams...

You have to do what you have to, right?

Enough of all those whinings and self-pitying bullshit,

here something interesting to share...

Today, Joyce, Vincent and I went to have cakes at Secret Recipe to satisfy my sudden whim for cakes (ngek ngek ngek...^^Y) and at one point when Vincent went across to McD get some wifi, I was left with the traveling magazine Joyce took from the Secret Recipe magazine stand, as I was reading through the magazine, drooling over all those oh-so-nice to visit places and at the same time throwing random travelling suggestions to Joyce, like the usual "Let's go Europe!" kind of random suggestions, but as we all know, travelling around Europe is out of the question for the time being for us so Joyce said let's go 10 years later. I bet she regretted saying that very much right now cause I tend to took it very seriously, so I said let's put it in black and white, and so the agreement of us going to a round Europe trip 10 years later was written down, in a Secret Recipe napkin with a borrowed pen! and FYI, the agreement is very much valid cause both of our names, IC no. and signatures are on that napkin and that makes it a legally binded contract under Malaysia contract law. wahahahahhahaa!!!!

The 10 year Agreement

Ahhh...the beauty of randomness~