脑子里满满地都是你，心却痛得不能自己 原来心痛的感觉，呼吸困难的感受，一点也不好玩 到底要多久 我才能呼吸正常心才不会那么痛 真的真的不敢奢求什么可是真的不想就这样失去 你真的真的对我很重要真的真的很重要....

好多好多话想对你说你却不想听 既然你不想听我也不勉强 我想说的，都在这儿了。 我很抱歉，我的所作所为，过分了。 心里满满地歉意 都写着你的名字你不想知道，我明了 心痛得乱七八糟痛得呼吸困难我彷徨，我不知所措我活该 坚持，坚信或许会有那么一天会再看到你的笑容

写了又擦，擦了又写
找不到对的字，应该也没有对的字，
心情起起伏伏，你的切身之痛，我无法想像
除了远远地为你加油，我无能为力...

好想说：“暴风雨后，总会有晴天与彩虹...”
好想说：“要好好照顾自己，要坚强起来..."
好想说些好听的话安慰你，却知道没有任何一句话能让你好过一些
好想抱抱你，却害怕崩溃了你那只剩下一点点地坚强...
不敢多问，因为知道你不想讲...
不问你 “还好吗？”， 因为知道你一点也不好

生命是如此无常，如此脆弱
是缘浅， 是不幸
只希望你不要责备自己

真的好想说：“要好好照顾自己，要坚强起来”
可是...

写了又擦，擦了又写
找不着对的字，没有对的字...

So, the thing is...
I ran into a glass door and broke my tooth.

Yeah, that's right.
I broke my tooth and have a huge bump on my forehead and my left eye looks like an eye just being punched.

With the broken tooth and all, i looked like a retarded gang member.

Great.

I should write about more serious stuff like politics and culture issues.

I will.

and they will be ex....wait for it....plosive!

Stick around and find out.

peace.

What?

Submitted my Endeavour Scholarship application minutes ago. Anxiety and relieved came rushing at the same time when I click the "Submit" button. I hate scholarship applications.

Starting to wonder whether academic is really for me. All those readings, literature review, data collecting, data analysis, final write ups are getting kind of tiring. Intellectual conversations can be really brain cell consuming!

Well, I think writing is not for me? not in English anyway...

The self-doubting stuff is coming around again, gosh...

Is this gonna be a repetitive pattern every few months??! Fuck.

and I thought puberty was the most difficult part in the growing process. Fuck.

and I say Fuck all the time now. Fuck.

I really wanna say life's wonderful but now life feels like a thousand tonnes heavy on me.

So, what's next? What's gonna happened if I don't get the scholarship?
Continue my graduate study in USM? Get a REAL job?
I don't know. Can I not think about that for now or should I start planning?
People keep asking these questions ALL THE TIME! Man!

Pressure pressure pressure...ahhh...how can we live without it? Its not like we're the one living our lifes anyway, they are. and if we don't live our lives according to their expectation will send us straight to hell. Get that??

Why do I sound like a teenager all over again??

Geeessss...

Save & Throw

Let's make a difference

Let's make this a better world

All you need to do is save a little and throw away a little

Save a little water each time you brush your teeth

Save a plastic bag when you go groceries shopping

Save a piece of paper when you decided to print out anything

Save a little harsh words when you are yelling at somebody

Throw away the negative thoughts you have when you're feeling down

Throw away a little of the stereotyping everytime you're on it or feeling it

Throw away a little of the hatred you feel towards life

Throw away a little of the laziness and the frustration you feel when you're trying to be happy

Just a little of everything...save and throw and you're making a difference

It aint that hard, right?


So, Stop trying to be happy, stop pursuing happiness

Stop and turn around, happiness is there..waiting for you to smile


Oooooo...it rhymes!!! =P