Starting to wonder whether academic is really for me. All those readings, literature review, data collecting, data analysis, final write ups are getting kind of tiring. Intellectual conversations can be really brain cell consuming!
Well, I think writing is not for me? not in English anyway...
The self-doubting stuff is coming around again, gosh...
Is this gonna be a repetitive pattern every few months??! Fuck.
and I thought puberty was the most difficult part in the growing process. Fuck.and I say Fuck all the time now. Fuck.
I really wanna say life's wonderful but now life feels like a thousand tonnes heavy on me.
So, what's next? What's gonna happened if I don't get the scholarship?
Continue my graduate study in USM? Get a REAL job?
I don't know. Can I not think about that for now or should I start planning?
People keep asking these questions ALL THE TIME! Man!
Pressure pressure pressure...ahhh...how can we live without it? Its not like we're the one living our lifes anyway, they are. and if we don't live our lives according to their expectation will send us straight to hell. Get that??
Why do I sound like a teenager all over again??
Geeessss...
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