I should write about more serious stuff like politics and culture issues.

I will.

and they will be ex....wait for it....plosive!

Stick around and find out.

peace.

What?

Submitted my Endeavour Scholarship application minutes ago. Anxiety and relieved came rushing at the same time when I click the "Submit" button. I hate scholarship applications.

Starting to wonder whether academic is really for me. All those readings, literature review, data collecting, data analysis, final write ups are getting kind of tiring. Intellectual conversations can be really brain cell consuming!

Well, I think writing is not for me? not in English anyway...

The self-doubting stuff is coming around again, gosh...

Is this gonna be a repetitive pattern every few months??! Fuck.

and I thought puberty was the most difficult part in the growing process. Fuck.

and I say Fuck all the time now. Fuck.

I really wanna say life's wonderful but now life feels like a thousand tonnes heavy on me.

So, what's next? What's gonna happened if I don't get the scholarship?
Continue my graduate study in USM? Get a REAL job?
I don't know. Can I not think about that for now or should I start planning?
People keep asking these questions ALL THE TIME! Man!

Pressure pressure pressure...ahhh...how can we live without it? Its not like we're the one living our lifes anyway, they are. and if we don't live our lives according to their expectation will send us straight to hell. Get that??

Why do I sound like a teenager all over again??

Geeessss...

Save & Throw

Let's make a difference

Let's make this a better world

All you need to do is save a little and throw away a little

Save a little water each time you brush your teeth

Save a plastic bag when you go groceries shopping

Save a piece of paper when you decided to print out anything

Save a little harsh words when you are yelling at somebody

Throw away the negative thoughts you have when you're feeling down

Throw away a little of the stereotyping everytime you're on it or feeling it

Throw away a little of the hatred you feel towards life

Throw away a little of the laziness and the frustration you feel when you're trying to be happy

Just a little of everything...save and throw and you're making a difference

It aint that hard, right?


So, Stop trying to be happy, stop pursuing happiness

Stop and turn around, happiness is there..waiting for you to smile


Oooooo...it rhymes!!! =P

Is it just me or what?

I've been having serious writer's block lately. It has been more than a month and still no output???

I have problems concentrating at work lately since I'm trying to get some writing doen, I'm not sure whether its because of the environment (people walking in and out and constant chattering voices while you're trying to write something smart) or is it just me?


Geess...life is hard, aint it?

LoL!

Me.

I am different.
I will always be different.
I will always be a little off, a little goofy,
I will always be the girl who prefers to stay at home to read rather than dress up and go out.
I will always be excited over food.
I will always be a little more than tempted to succumb to my darker side.
I will always trying to figure out who I am without realising I already am who I am.
I will always be more than a little sensitive and emotional from time to time.
I will always be that insensitive person that offended people unintentionally.
I will always say something without let it go through the processing part in my brain.
I will never live up to my family's expectation to follow their footstep into being "successful" in their terms.
I will always always have a hard time convincing myself to take that extra step.
I will always be the one who is better at saying than actually doing it.


Hell, I will always be...me.

Different.Awkward.Me.

I'm so sick and tired of people pressuring me, trying to tell me what to do ALL THE TIME!
They oh so like to think that they know better!! Argh!!

SHUT UP and let me live MY life!!!

An Update.

Alright...so maybe its been a while since my last entry but I got a really really good reason.
So hear me out.

I WAS FREAKIN' BUSY,MAN!!!!!

No,seriously. I was.

So here are the updates of me and my life,

• I'd finished my internship with the International Office (IO)
• I'm done with IO. Finally.
• I'm currently obsessed with the songs Lean on Me and the Gold Digger by the Glee Cast
• I'm at home nearing of being a couch potato (not yet,mind you)
• I'm in love with the Asian Food Channel or any food channel really.
• I'm bored but too lazy to do anything
• So Im starting to watch horrible shit movies of all kinds
• I'm helplessly waiting for my lecturer to call and tell me that she's going to pay the amount I hope she's going to pay me as a research officer temp.
• My little brother is now at Taiwan trying to learn how to cook and obtain a diploma for that. For all our sake, I hope he doesnt dropped out. **Fingers crossed
• Ok, I might miss him a little. I got no one to shout at at this moment.
• Oh, no knight with shiny armor and a white horse yet, in case you're wondering in that department.
• and I wasnt sure how to spell the word "horse" for a second

There you go, my life in a nutshell.

So, I think I realise this everytime I have time and when I've been watching too much cooking shows, Food is my passion and I'm a cooking junkie. I would love to be in culinary but its not very practical right now cause I don't have the money to do so just yet.
I shall keep on dreaming for that for a little longer =)

Anyways, I got something else I meant to write but its pretty late now and the thing I wanted to write about just fled my mind. I guess that's my cue.

Till then.

Good night people.